Calgon.... Take me away!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Ex-Hubby calls...

How come we allow people that hurt us in the past, to remain in our lives?

The Ex calls me today and asks me a question. No biggie except that he after 9 years he still calls me for advice, dating issues, babies, child support, banking and over all BS. I don't mind I guess because he still thinks enough of me to ask me but this I guess was the last straw.

Seems that his Ex-GF is taking him to court for child support and he needs some advice. Okay last time I checked I wasn't a lawyer and I am not sure I want to know about why they are splitting up (I am pretty sure it's his fault) and HELLO you don't call the ex-wife about the ex-girlfriend! Sheez Man C'mon!

So being the semi-nice person I am, I actually inform him of what he needs to do. Then he asks me about money issues and tax returns....mind you not once has he asked about our daughter. So I ended it with... "Baby Girl is doing great, she is on the honor roll and is getting into dancing and she and hubby are doing alot on the weekends".....Attempting to make him the slightest bit jealous and all he says is, "That's good". DUMB ASS!

Sometimes I really have to sit and think about what is was that attracted me to him, sure as hell wasn't the brains! Then I remember, see in HS I was dating hubby. He was the jock, all A's, didn't drink or smoke; All American Hero kinda guy. I was more into the bad boy image so I started dating the ex. Well after a few months then a year I ended up pregger's and married. All American Hero was spitting on my name and hoping I got some horrific disease after dumping him (little did I know that he fell for me...ME!) Well that lasted about 6 months, he wasn't ready to be A MAN and take care of me that the baby. He was drinking every weekend, going out with "friends" and didn't give a shit about me. So I gave him 3 chances then I said, YOUR OUT!

I can honestly say I wasn't in love with him, I did love him (if that makes sense) but not like I think I should have. He would tell me things that to this day, piss me off but I blew him off. He swore I would never find anyone else because noone wants a girl with baggage...HELLO WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! But for some reason, I still care about him. Don't get me wrong I don't want him back AT ALL but he was my 1st husband, he is baby girl's dad and he was my 1st.....you know!

The funny thing is that I have met all his GF's and I mean ALL 9 of them. Out of 9 I like 3, Jennifer, Diana and now Claudia (current GF) they have all been weary about meeting me and then when they do, we end up friends. Not sure if that's a good thing or not but so far it's okay.

I guess we will see what happens. One thing I did LMAO about was that after we hung up he called back and said that he was thinking about me the other night. I was like, okay and .... he proceeded to tell me that when he dropped off baby girl last week at my MIL's re remembers her house. I said, "How" and he tells me.....that's right ... you bitch! I was like WHOA! He says when you and I were on the verge of divorce I used to drop you at your friends house....and that is the same Mutha F*cker that you are married to now! ALL I COULD DO WAS LAUGH! He was like I can't believe you cheated on me....I said Hold Up! You were already cheating on me, so I played the same game. The difference is that I didn't do anything until after we were divorced!!!

Just goes to show... What goes around comes around! Byotch!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I must have ridden the short bus...

So I called the law office of ...blah..blah.blah and left 3 messages! No worry it's just my ass that could go to jail for missing a stupid date! Thank god I wasn't needing to be bailed out, by now I would be some over grown bafoon's pretty lady! GROSS!!!

Well I got an email from brother and he is living it up in NM they are traveling in central and he rode a cable cart, ate at the top of a volcano and slept on the beach! Nice... I am really glad that he is having a good time, I do miss him though. Hopefully when I asked him to bring me something back it won't be the sand in the ass from the beach!

I was talking to hubby last night about her and he is right, if I continue to not like her without really giving her the benefit, it will make it hard on brother. So I am going to suck it up and actully try to get to know her. I may end up liking her or killing her....stay tuned!

Hubby and I had our date night out last night and it was fun. We went to our special Italian resturant, 2 Guys and it was awesome! If you ever are in Dallas you have to go there, the atmosphere and music and lighting is like walking into a Villa in Italy. Not to mention the wine....chilled and tasty!
...funny thing though, while we were there at dinner a couple next to us obviously wasn't enjoying each other and they just sat there for 30 min and didn't talk. Then the wife/GF asked for another glass of wine and the hubby/BF looked at her and said, "Do you really think you need another one, haven't you had 3 already?" Rrrrrerrrr!!! The lady proceeded to tell the waiter, "Bring me the bottle!" Nice...get drunk sista, maybe then you will start to loosen up. I swear she sat there like she had been tied to the table and forced to look at him.

Disturbing issue... A good friend of mine called me on Sat night and when I answered I knew something was wrong. For one she never calls on a Sat night and Two it was like 10:00. So I asked her what was up and then she proceeded to pour out her heart to me about the fact that her husband of 7 years has descided that he doesn't want to be married anymore and that she and her son need to pack and leave..tonight!

Ugh! Okay slow your roll grandpa, how are you going to tell her to get out and take your kid with you, screw the past 7 years! WTF Man? So as we continued to talk she said that it has been weird for the past 6 months, they don't talk, sleep in the same room, eat at the same time kind of like she isn't even there. However when he's in the mood for some luvin, he wants to acknowledge her. Well she packed her stuff up and on Sunday moved in with a friend, the sad thing is that she is a SATM, which means no money, job or car! I am trying to help her by getting her kiddo on Thur and Fri but not much more I can offer.

I don't get how people can fall out of love with someone after such a long time. I mean 2 or 3 years that's not much, 5 years, 10 years, 25 years that's like crazy. You have spent a good quarter of your life with them and now you just don't love them anymore? I guess I am one of those true believers that when you marry someone it's forever, I truly don't see myself getting married again. Now I know that this is my 2nd but it's for sure my last. There is just way to much drama that goes on when you are in and out of a relationship!

gotta run....

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Hey you sank my battleship!

Well here's the latest and not so greatest, Brother has left to NM to be with... her and I guess I should not refer to her that way but WTH it's my blog. We went out for drinks on Thursday night to our local hole in the wall...(props to Billy for the Jager-Bombs) and sat there for 4 hours just talking like we used to. It was a blast! Then he had to go and bring Miss NM up and I have always told him how I feel about everythng, no shit we are the straight and bigger boobs version of Will and Grace. He listened and didn't complain he cared about my feelings and I told him that I would accept it and move on as long as he was happy,{Mental Note: Call Pancho & Shorty up}

He was like good, cause I really care about her and am starting to fall for her. Sheeez! Anyway he will be gone for about 3 weeks then come home for 2 then leave for 3 more. It's like a divorce and we are sharing him.....I play to win! So I am dealing with that!

Mom and Dad had their doctor's appointments on Friday and that went well. Mom seems okay on the medicine for the Alzheimer's and Dad is doing good with the pace maker. I however screwed up....

I got a speeding ticket and was scheduled to go to court for probation/defensive driving.... well I missed the court date and now a warrant has been issued. GOOD OL' DALLAS POLICE, worry about a speeding ticket when there's worse shit to deal with. So I have to get an attorney now to plead my case. Funny thing is I got 2 more tickets, expiered registeration and inspection....CALGON, where are you? I swear things like this happen to me in 3's.

Other than that it's all good in my world.

GO DALLAS STARS!

till next week, adios!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

My 3 year plan.....will it or won't it?

Okaty well while I am dealing with some recent BFF issues, anyhwere is looking to move to CA next year, Brother is moving to New Mexico to be with King Kong and Mother Clucker is leaving to OK.
So much for my inner circle. I am left with what... outrageous cell phone bills, web cam, email, blogs? Oh how does that song go..."Lean on me, when your not strong and I will be your friend. I'll help you carry on" BULL SHIT I SAY!

Well this week started out strange, I had a coming to Jesus talk with myself and yes it is possiable as long as you don't start to answer yourself. I started to look at my life and really really ask myself, "WTF did you do?" See I had this 5 year plan that I started at 25. (See list below)
1. Get married
2. Have one more child...pray for a boy!
3. Move into my own house
4. Get a better job that makes me money
5. Buy a new truck
6. Save enough for a boob job and tummy tuck (I will need it after the kids)
7. Start investing money....need to see a financial turn around
8. If I haven't married by 30 then move in with Pat (nothing sexual...gross he's my brother)
9. Go on a cruise with my sister and daughter, family bonding
10. Get rid of old debt
11. Get closer to GOD
12. Travel to atleast one of the following: Aruba, Puerto Rico, Washignton, Canada, Spain or Italy.

Well so far....
I got married
I had a baby BOY
I bought a new truck
I got a semi-well paying job
.....and that's it.

I guess I did the important stuff but for some reason I am still like, "Hello I am 28 married with kids and stuck at my parents. I haven't got time to spend with my daughter because if I am not working then she's at school or I am having to deal with the 3 year old. My sister has become the 2nd mom; can't complain she is doing a great job. I don't have the money to get the boobs I always wanted....gravity sucks, I can play hacky sak with them. Commission allows only certain bills to be paid, so debt increased. Travel....Yea maybe in 5 more years. As for GOD, well I did get closer I take dad to church every Sunday and I go to confession on Wed. That's the one hour a week that I zone everything out and give him 110%.

I guess I am thinking more along the will I ever get the chance to just breathe? Taking care of mom and dad keeps us here because we won't put them in a facility to rot and plus can't afford it. I haven't actually been alone since 1996....1st kiddo was born and then got married 4 years later to hubby and 1 year later had kiddo #2....haven't had a meal to myself, been able to fully watch a movie, finish a drink without seeing little pieces of crackers floating in it after sharing with kids. Go out to the mall to just shop with out stopping at the Disney Store, buy a pair of shoes with out feeling guilty and buying the kids some instead. Have clean carpets for more than 3 days, thanks to the dogs and kids..... Overall I sometimes feel like I need to come up for air. Then again, this was my plan and don't ask for what you don't want, right?

Don't get me wrong I love my kids more than life, Hubby is the part of my heart that keeps me going and fills my soul. It's just that sometimes I want some ME time. Who knows maybe when they are 18 and off to Padre Island for spring break!

When I get on the soap box I start to clean, since 8:00 I cleaned the bathroom and I mean scrubbed the shit out of that place. Washed the windows (inside only), washed 7 loads of clothes, 2 loads of dishes (most that weren't dirty but I just needed to fill the washer up. Straighten my spice cabinet A-Z and clean out the fridge. Hubby came in after about 2 hours and asked if I was preggers, in the darth vador voice I replied GEETTT OUTTTT! So know I sit here and commence bitching!

Well I fell the same, not better but not worse either. Ohhh gotta run I hear little man calling for me.

Night!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Score: 1 for me, 0 for you...I WIN!

They say blood is thicker than water, bet your pink thong it is!!

Well after many shed tears over my brother leaving, he has descided to stay here and let her go back. She is putting in for a transfer to Dallas so that they can live here. Now I am still not all that excited about her being here 24/7 but atleast he's not leaving!!!! :)

You know, I must have been a band-aid in a previous life. I have come to conclusion that I am a 'fixer'. When there's a problem I try to fix it, someone is crying I am the tissue, someone needs money (when I have it) I lend it, someone needs to bitch, I'm the reciever. When it comes to my kids I am the over all heavy duty industrial strength band-aid. Little Man is sick with what ever virus is going around, he got it from hubby and now sis has it. So in al the medicine distributing, nose blowing, throw up cleaning....I get it! GREAT...who's going to take care of me?

.....Mom and Dad have doctor's apt's tomorrow, this should be interesting. They have the same doctor which is awesome, one stop. It's about 10 min away, even better but the building is strictly for the elderly. So when we go we see all the old folks that are either years into Alzheimer's, bed ridden, wheel chair bound or worse. I know that's what happens when you get older but I feel bad for these people because they have no visitor's, can't pee with out someone helping them, much less enjoy a burger and shake. I see them then I look at my parent's and think, is this what they have to look forward to? I know for a fact they will never be put in a home, my dad's 2 brother's both were put in homes (way to early if you ask me) and they both died there. He told me that he never wants to be put there, I guess the fear of what his brother's went through has set in his mind.

I know I bitch and complain about them some.... most of the time. I do get frustrated with the whole living with them situation but when I see all these poor old folks, I am like a kid at the pet store, I want to take them all home and care for them. It makes me re-think the times that I get mad, loose patience and slam doors while uttering, I wish I didn't have to deal with this crap.

I hope that they spend as much time here as they can and spend it with my kids. I named my daughter after my mom and they have this certain bond that you see when they are together. I hope that she will care for me when I get old.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

WTF the mean you are leaving?

So last night on my way home I get a phone call.
Me: Whaaat Up bro? (thanks to caller ID)
Bro: Hey when will you be home? I need to talk 2 you?
Me: About 15 min. What's wrong?
Bro: Well I wanted to see if we could meet, I need to talk to you
Pause....(Okay to short live this, he has a new GF for about 2 months now and let me first say she is not on Xmas card list, so first thing that came to mind was she's preggers.) back to conversation.

Me: Yea that's fine, what's wrong? You didn't get her....
Bro: NOOOOO! Nothing like that (a sigh of relief)
Me: Okay well the kids and hubby are sick so let's make it a fast food place....
Bro: I AM MOVING TO NEW MEXICO!
Me: ..............WTF did you say?

Okay so he didn't wait till dinner, he told me that he is moving to NM to be with "King Kong" my SIL named her that because she is slightly on the over grown side and bigger than my brother (not in the weight side she is just like a giant). She looks like she grew and grew then her arms continued to grow and her eyes whoa...KrAzIe eyes like the guy from the movie, Mr Deeds. Not that this is an issue, I am just saying.. Whoa!

anyhow, so I asked when did he decide this? What did Mom and Dad think? Did you tell our other brother? When? Then the big one... WHY?

His tone changed when I said Why? As he is talking there is a lot of noise in the background, I asked where he was and he proceeds to tell me they are at the pound, getting a dog.

WHOOOOOAAAA! WTF WTF WTF.... you don't get a dog? Try a plant first, get a gym membership? Something other than a dog, I mean that is a HUGE step.

Well he said that he can't find a job here (which he really isn't trying to hard) He has a GF that lives 2 states away and he wants to try living with her before...... I said "Before what?"
and he continues before we take then next step.

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT KING KONG.
First, my SIL named her that because she is this oversized girl that talks to much, in the sense that she doesn't STFU. She is obnoxious and blunt, like for instance a few weeks ago she came down for the weekend and we went to OUR favorite Italian restaurant. She 1st tells him what to order so they can share (knowing his on a diet) then talks the entire time cuts me and mom off when we start to talk, then then has the nerve to tell me, "How can you put all that ranch on a fresh salad that is so light, I mean you are smothering it." I WANTED TO BITCH SLAP HER DARK, OVER GROWN, TO TALL ASS, LANKY ARMS, BLIND BUG EYED self across the table.
.... I replied, "That's why it's MY salad, in front of ME so that I can eat it. My bro, mom and dad were like, "Oh shit"

I know for a fact my bro can do better, I have seen the girls he gets and WHY IN THE GOOD LORD's NAME HE PICKED HER. She is nothing that he looks for, I know opposites attract but c'mon she's not even that, She's OMG I can't even write what she is. She on several occasions has made the comment that he is the dumbest guy she has dated, he's the only one that hasn't had a job and still lives at home. He is also Mexican and I never date them. WHOOOA Mutha Effer.... Where the fuck do you get off? Who other than your mama told you, that you are pretty? Did your dad order your last Boy Friend for your birthday present? How many friends have to hook you up, (sight un-seen) for you to get a date? Sheeez talk about a BITCH!

Well because they were at the pound he couldn't talk long and said that we need to meet tomorrow. She was like, "Wait we are taking the dog to the vet." Since when were vet's open at 8 pm and how long does that take? I replied, "When is she going back home?" My bro knew I was PO'd so he said he will call me back......Thank God I am not dying, I am still waiting for his call((going on hour 14)).

Well needless to say I cried, I mean like OMG cried. See he's not my real brother, we have been BF's since 10th grade and he has been through 2 marriages, 2 kids, 2 divorces, 3 homes and some lil stuff in between. So he is like part of my life, he's there when I need him, goes where ever I want to go even if it's to the nail salon. He gets a pedi. Comes over when ever, we hang out on the weekends, I mean he's kind of like a shadow. NOW he's leaving me..... to go be with her.

I know it sounds weird but he hooked hubby and I up, he was hubby's best man and his hubby's BFF, my kids love him. So why can't he stay?
.... I am not sure what I am going to do? I asked hubby why he wasn't upset and he said, guys don't see it as OMG I am loosing a friend, look at it this way we can go skiing and have a place to travel to now. WTF.. my brother/best friend/confidant/partner in crime is L E A V I N G and you are worried about skiing, you have never even skied before.

I am really at a loss, I don't want to upset him but what about me, he didn't think about how I would feel. He didn't think that his mom would flip out or that granny would be livid. I asked him when he was moving and he's like on the 3rd. The 3rd of April...May... no February.. AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGG!

Calgon....make her go away!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Marriage....Why do we say YES?

Okay let me first start by saying that I have expierence in this field therefore I have the right to tell it how it really is.
Here goes....

POINT: When we are little girls our minds are so innocent that we think marriage is like this magical moment, you marry prince charming and live in a castle and have all the things you want.
REALITY: We get married, have kids, get fat, get pissed then get divorced.

POINT: Are we saying YES, because we really are truly madly in love? Do we lay awake at night just so we can see our partner sleep. When our hands brush against each other as we are walking do we get that tingle all over, like we used to?
REALITY: We say Yes, hoping that we will be married forever that nothing will keep us apart. Then when someone cheats....we say "I never thought he/she would do this". The tingle that was once there...YEA whatever!

POINT: What does make a marriage work? I mean is there a book or directions? How about a class?
REALITY: We TRY to make it work, we give our 50% and hope that we get the other in return. We ignore the problems hoping the will go away, we excuse the mistakes, the bruises, the put downs all the shit we put up with, just so we can have someone else say, Why are you still with them?

POINT: Do we say YES because we think that we may never be asked again? Maybe I will never meet someone else?
REALITY: We want to plan the wedding, wear the dress, put on that tux and have all eyes on me. If only for one day, one hour it's all about me.

POINT: How about the wife that gets beaten? The husband that gets cheated on? The kids that get caught in the middle? The dog...man who gets the dog?
REALITY: She says he had a bad day, he will never do it again....NEWS @ 8 "Woman found beaten in home by child, husband caught fleeing the scene by the police".
Mr. asks Mrs. "Why?" Didn't I give you everything, don't you have a nice car, a big house, money?
Mrs says...."Yes, I do"
Mr. says.. "Then why did you cheat on me?
Mrs says....."You didn't give me love"

POINT: Why do we stay together for the kids sake? Think about that.....
REALITY: Noone other than the kids suffer. We think they don't know, they can't see it.....but they can. They know, maybe not the whole story but they can feel it. Then they feel like it was their fault.

POINT: My parents were married for 30 years, I know I will be too!
REALITY: Half the shit that happens today wasn't around back then and I am sure that they had their fair share of BS between the two of them.

POINT: How about when we get married, enjoy it for about ohhh till we have to start sharing money, bed space, food, bills, family gatherings, our private time. Then we want off the ride.
REALITY: You should have WAITED!

Honestly I think there are millions of reasons why we get married, yet no one really asks themselves these questions. I know that I didn't get married to get divorced.... but I did. I said I wasn't going to get married again...but I did. We think we know the answers but we don't, noone does except for the guy that was married 7x and now can't get married in this state again. So many times we hear about friends/family getting divorced like it's no big deal, I mean they have drive thru wedding chapel's why not a drive-thru divorce court!

Marriage used to mean something...
To have and to hold....from this day forward
In sickness and in health.....till death due us part
In good times and in bad... for richer or poorer
as long as we both shall live.

WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!

Marriage....Why do we say YES?

Okay let me first start by saying that I have expierence in this field therefore I have the right to tell it how it really is.
Here goes....

POINT: When we are little girls our minds are so innocent that we think marriage is like this magical moment, you marry prince charming and live in a castle and have all the things you want.
REALITY: We get married, have kids, get fat, get pissed then get divorced.

POINT: Are we saying YES, because we really are truly madly in love? Do we lay awake at night just so we can see our partner sleep. When our hands brush against each other as we are walking do we get that tingle all over, like we used to?
REALITY: We say Yes, hoping that we will be married forever that nothing will keep us apart. Then when someone cheats....we say "I never thought he/she would do this". The tingle that was once there...YEA whatever!

POINT: What does make a marriage work? I mean is there a book or directions? How about a class?
REALITY: We TRY to make it work, we give our 50% and hope that we get the other in return. We ignore the problems hoping the will go away, we excuse the mistakes, the bruises, the put downs all the shit we put up with, just so we can have someone else say, Why are you still with them?

POINT: Do we say YES because we think that we may never be asked again? Maybe I will never meet someone else?
REALITY: We want to plan the wedding, wear the dress, put on that tux and have all eyes on me. If only for one day, one hour it's all about me.

POINT: How about the wife that gets beaten? The husband that gets cheated on? The kids that get caught in the middle? The dog...man who gets the dog?
REALITY: She says he had a bad day, he will never do it again....NEWS @ 8 "Woman found beaten in home by child, husband caught fleeing the scene by the police".
Mr. asks Mrs. "Why?" Didn't I give you everything, don't you have a nice car, a big house, money?
Mrs says...."Yes, I do"
Mr. says.. "Then why did you cheat on me?
Mrs says....."You didn't give me love"

POINT: Why do we stay together for the kids sake? Think about that.....
REALITY: Noone other than the kids suffer. We think they don't know, they can't see it.....but they can. They know, maybe not the whole story but they can feel it. Then they feel like it was their fault.

POINT: My parents were married for 30 years, I know I will be too!
REALITY: Half the shit that happens today wasn't around back then and I am sure that they had their fair share of BS between the two of them.

POINT: How about when we get married, enjoy it for about ohhh till we have to start sharing money, bed space, food, bills, family gatherings, our private time. Then we want off the ride.
REALITY: You should have WAITED!

Honestly I think there are millions of reasons why we get married, yet no one really asks themselves these questions. I know that I didn't get married to get divorced.... but I did. I said I wasn't going to get married again...but I did. We think we know the answers but we don't, noone does except for the guy that was married 7x and now can't get married in this state again. So many times we hear about friends/family getting divorced like it's no big deal, I mean they have drive thru wedding chapel's why not a drive-thru divorce court!

Marriage used to mean something...
To have and to hold....from this day forward
In sickness and in health.....till death due us part
In good times and in bad... for richer or poorer
as long as we both shall live.

WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!